Friday, June 8, 2007

Let the Bitch rot!

Wonder if she wore her panties in the squad car?

HOORAY FOR JUSTICE! I'm glad that Los Angeles Judge tossed the bitch Paris Hilton back into the slammer Friday. . .and I hope he goes above and beyond the law and extends her jail sentence to life, no parole.

I guess she couldn't handle the stress and pressure and claustrophobia of being in a jail cell. . . she prefers the quiet, wide-open spaces of nightclubs instead. Perhaps her cell would be more accomodating with some strobe lights, a mirror ball, maybe some coke-snorting skanks in the corner, some loud house music. . .

What's with these fucking Hollywood kids? I've never seen such a group of self-obsessed, spoiled little babies. You never saw Mickey Rooney and Judy Garland behaving like this, by cracky! (when did this all start, anyway? Was it Sean Penn and Robert Downey Junior and the rest of the Brat Packers? Hell, this current behavior trumps all that. . . )

It's a shame Paris will have to spend her time in jail, isn't it. Too bad she couldn't serve it at home with an ankle bracelet on house-arrest. . . I'm sure she'd serve out her sentence alone, at home, quietly reflecting on the wrong she'd done. I'm sure she would have kept her friends away, told them not to come over all hours for parties. I'm sure she'd not have a personal chef around the place, and to send her personal trainer home. And I'm sure she'd sleep alone and resist the temptation to shoot a video of herself Honkin' on Bobo. (But, that'd bring up an idea for a great new video series, once--if--Joe Francis gets out of jail in Nevada and his probably-violated-repeatedly butt heals. . how about "Girls Gone Wild--LA County Jail?" I think Nicole Ritchie is headed that way later this month. . .and Lindsay Lohan not too far behind. Maybe a jail sentence is the rite of passage for all young celebrities these days. Somehow, Britney Spears managed to avoid jail time, but I think the cops should just haul her wide cellulite-laden ass into the slammer anyway, just on principle, for the way she treats her kids.

It's a good thing, I guess, we have all this young celebrity angst. It helps us forget about the real problems of the war. immigration, health care and the like. But maybe it's about time to send em all to Fallujah and put em on daytime patrol without body armor.

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