A couple stolen from One Railfan's Fight Against Society:
Three footy fans were walking back from the MCG when one noticed afoot sticking out of the bushes by the side of Jolimont Road.They stopped and discovered a nude female unconscious and near death, so one of them phoned the police and also requested an ambulance. Out of respect and propriety, the Melbourne fan took off his cap and placed it over one of the female's breasts. The Kangaroos fan took off his cap and placed it over her other breast. Following their lead, but with great reluctance, the Collingwood fan took off his cap and placed it over her girly part. The police arrived first and an officer began to conduct his investigation.First he lifted up the Demons cap, replaced it and made an entry in his notebook. Next, he lifted the Kangaroos cap and replaced it; making more notes in his book. Then the officer lifted the Collingwood cap, replaced it, lifted it again, replaced it, lifted it a third time and replaced it one last time -shaking his head in disbelief. The Collingwood fan was extremely annoyed and challenged him, "What are you, a pervert or something mate? Why do you keep lifting and looking, lifting and looking?""Well," said the officer, "I'm a little surprised and confused."Normally, when you look under a Collingwood cap ... you'll find an ass hole."
And one more:
Ahmed and Hamid are both beggars at several traffic lights in Sydney. Ahmed drives a Mercedes, lives in a mortgage-free house, and has a lot of money to spend. Hamid only brings in 2 to 3 dollars a day. Hamid asks Ahmed how he manages to bring home a suitcase full of $10 notes every day. Ahmed says; " Look at your sign, it says, I have n owork, a wife and six kids to support." "Aussies who see that do not feel as if they accomplish anything by giving you money. You will still have no job and a large family whether they give you money or not!" "Now look at my sign!"So Hamid looks and Ahmed's sign reads, "I only need another $10 to move back to Lebanon!
Have a special day!