Friday, January 9, 2009

Let's Pick The Surgeon General!

The next Surgeon General?

President-elect Obama is taking a lot of heat for picking Dr. Sanjay Gupta to be his next surgeon general. He's certainly popular enough, appearing at CNN's Medical Editor, and he's an actual qualified brain surgeon in Atlanta. He was an advisor to Hillary Clinton when she was the first lady and tried to get socialized medicine passed in this country. Folks just don't seem to warm, however, to a doctor who's largely percieved as a "celebrity." Don't think he's qualified? Think you can do better? How about these choices?

Dr. Dre would be near the top of my list. Okay, so he's not a real doctor, but he knows his West Coast damn-straight. Who better to address the problems of health care in the inner cities? He'd probably be able to talk to kids about having children out of wedlock and about the horrors of drug abuse (he had a son who died of a heroin overdose). And he'd probably scare the shit out of you in the process.

Myself, I liked Dr. C. Everett Koop, the only surgeon general who dressed less like a surgeon and more like a general. He was Ronald Reagan's surgeon general, and no less a source that Wikipedia referred to him as the "first" celebrity surgeon general. I can't see Dr. Gupta in dress whites, though. I couldn't see a surgeon very easily in them, either--it reminded more of Captain Merrill Steubing on the "Love Boat." I don't know if he's still alive or not. Bonus points for that kickin' donegal beard.

Here's another Doctor, though I don't know where he practiced medicine: Dr. Demento. He seemed to know a lot about old songs, and i'd bet his bedside manner would cheer up even the terminally ill.

If you're going "celebrity" for doctors, choose Dr. House. Don't bother with McDreamy--he'd be too good-looking it'd hurt him with his mission to the public. But House--ah, here's the real deal. He probably wouldn't have worked too well with a President Clinton--there's that whole friction thing he has with Dr. Cuddy that would work against him--and President Obama might bristle at nominating a doctor with a pain-killer addiction, but he RARELY loses a patient, thought they all nearly die first. And, he loves Monster Trucks.

Na, I'm not serious. I just like to use Dr. Phil's photograph so I can mention what a douchebag I think he is.

This guy is an ass-wipe, too, but he's got nice muscles. Can probably trade chest-waxing tips with President Obama. And I'd guess Dr. Rey would soon move to include breast augmentation and labial reduction to be included in medicade.

Who is YOUR choice?

Guess What Time It Is?

Yep, it's tax time again. And here's a little plug for Liberty Tax Services of Fort Worth. If I wasn't using Turbo Tax, i'd probably take my business to them, for what could be a better away of attracting business than sticking some homeless-looking guy in a green plastic bag, slapping a foam Statue of Liberty crown atop his head, and then leaving him on a street corner to distract passing motorists? I guess it's cheaper paying this guy than it is to rent one of those giant American Eagles or Uncle Sams or the nylon "floppy guy" wind socks.

1 comment:

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